Curmudgeon pickled hash a la al martin

100 servings

Ingredients

Quantity Ingredient
50 pounds Waller Waller Onions
¼ pounds Pickling Spices
¼ pounds Crushed Red Peppers
10 gallons Red Wine Vinegar Or Ripple
5 pounds Sugar
2½ gallon Water Or More Ripple
¾ pounds Salt
25 pounds Fresh Squidlets *
25 pounds Tofu Cut Into 1\" Cubes **
2 quarts Tabascar Sauce
8 pounds Minced Garlic
1 dash Secret Curmudgeon Sauce ***

Directions

* Squid should be at least bait quality if fresh squid are not available. ** Tofu should be freshly made to Al's personal specifications. *** Al's Secret Curmudgeon Sauce really contains 1 Quart Sweat Sauce, 1 quart Nam Pla (Fish Sauce), 1 quart Wednesday's Frosties, 1 Gallon Justin Wilson's Dehydrator Barbecue Sauce and six dozen crushed Nieman Marcus $250.00 Cookies.

~--------------------------------------------------------------------- ~-- Remove skins from Walla Walla onions. Wash squid, remove skin and entrails, leaving tentacles. Carefully cube tofu into exact 1" cubes, cause Al is particular or is that peculiar anyway 1" cubes please. Set squid aside in the sun while preparing brine/pickling mixture.

In a 55 gallon oak barrel place the red wine vinegar, water, salt, sugar, Tabasco sauce and Secret Curmudgeon Sauce; mix thoroughly.

Add minced garlic (Al usually uses 16 pounds per batch), Pickling spice, crushed red pepper and stir until well mixed.

Place the onions, squid and tofu into brine solution making sure everything is submerged. If necessary place a manhole cover on top of everything to keep the ingredients submerged. Allow the process to continue as long as you possibly stand without sampling. It should be ready just about picnic time. That's all ther is to it Folks. Named after the Patron Curmudgeon Of The Cooking Echo Al Martin.

Al Martin mistakenly left this recipe in the Tofu Cookbook he had borrowed from the Portland Public Library where it was on loan from the Escondido California Public Library. Typed for your personal pleasure by Syd Bigger.

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